


I Know What You Want

by nicolai



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Anal Fingering, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blackmail, Blood, Bondage, Catheters, Cutting, Dissociation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, First Aid, Forced Orgasm, Good Lord, Guilt, Injury, Misunderstandings, Non-Consensual, Non-Consensual Oral Sex, Overstimulation, Poison, Rape, Shame, Showers, Spoilers, Stabbing, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Trauma, Yandere, but everyone ends up healthier, self blame, the tragedy, this was a trip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-26
Updated: 2018-09-27
Packaged: 2019-07-17 17:22:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16100279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nicolai/pseuds/nicolai
Summary: Sho's feeling neglected and thinks that Byakuya is just waiting for her to take initiative. This is a horrible misunderstanding, but he feels compelled to go along with it to maintain a facade of control. The next morning, he's got to start dealing with the aftermath, and life isn't making it easy. A suicide attempts gets Kyoko involved, and the end up learning about The Tragedy. Byakuya is cheered up by the apocalypse and the freedom he's given to create his own legacy.





	1. The Event

**Author's Note:**

> Byakuya has some emotional issues about control and this leads him to blame himself for allowing Sho to hurt him. This may be difficult to read. His feelings do not reflect the reality of the situation and Sho is responsible for her actions. First chapter is the event, subsequent chapters are the fallout. Chapter 3 includes a suicide attempt and a lot of Byakuya's very mentally unhealthy headspace.

“Sho?” Byakuya’s tone being only bored and slightly irritated was impressive, as he’d just woken up to find his wrists tightly bound above his head, his pajamas cut open and hanging about him in rags, and one of his two, well, he was never quite sure what to call them, his two people kneeling between his legs. If the light had been on, he’d be able to confirm which it was, but the situation made it clear enough, as Touko would never do something like this. 

Hey master!” Sho grinned, bouncing the mattress underneath her, “What’s up?” 

“Well, it appears as though you’ve tied me up for some reason, though I can’t imagine why that would be, as that’s clearly not what I want. I want to be asleep with Touko. Perhaps you’d like to enlighten me as to what has necessitated this change of plans?” he softly attempted to lower his arms and found them quite as stuck as they first seemed; he was certainly unable to get free by himself. To add more difficulty to that, he was in a soundproof room during nighttime, so no chance of calling for help, even if he’d been inclined to, and nobody would be at all concerned about him missing until at least breakfast, but probably far after that. The only person who could know what was going on right now was the Mastermind, as they were in full view of the camera, but that didn’t bear too much consideration, else this would be rather humiliating. 

“You’ve been spending so much time with her lately,” Sho giggled, “I wondered why, and first I was upset and jealous, but then I figured it out, Master!” she ran the sharp edge of her scissors down the inside of Byakuya’s thigh, gently enough to avoid drawing blood, but only just. 

Byakuya noted that his heart rate was increasing and he felt some tightness in his abdomen. Fear, then. Not unexpected in this situation. Fortunately, Sho wasn’t a stickler for a reasonable flow of conversation and he had a few moments to consider his response. He realized that he’d been careless in not ensuring that she’d had satisfactory attention lately. It was important to balance his time between them such that neither of them got any ideas that were too far away from what he’d want from them. And he’d slipped. Thus, he would suffer the consequences, if he couldn’t talk his way out of them, anyway. 

“Sho,” he put all of the authority he could muster behind her name, “Untie my wrists. Then we’ll talk about what you’ve deduced.” 

“Uh-uh,” Sho shook her head, “I know what you want. You want me to surprise you! You want me to show you how desperate I am for you, right? You were just waiting for me to get things started! I know you’ll pretend it’s not what you want, that’s okay. I know.” She leaned down and kissed both of his inner thighs. 

Byakuya sighed, that was less than desirable, as far as conclusions went. He supposed it made sense as something she would decide, based on her own twisted fantasies, but this was rather unfortunate. “I want you to let me go, you ridiculous peon. Why would you think that I would want you to do any of the thinking in our relationship?” 

“It’s obvious, Master! Even someone as stupid as me can see it. Miss Morose listens too easily, doesn’t she? She just leaves when you tell her too, every single time. But we never want to leave you. You want me to show you how much we want you,” she nodded emphatically, grinning like a maniac, “Don’t worry, I know you don’t want it to hurt too much. I’ll be gentle.” And with that, Sho leaned forward, opened her mouth, and slid down over Byakuya’s penis. 

He was still flaccid, but the warm, pleasant sensation would change that soon enough. A slight blush colored his cheeks, the involuntary nature of arousal was a bit irritating at the best of times, and downright mortifying now. She’d take that as further evidence that she was right in what she decided to do. He tried to think through the best responses, though fully calm, rational thought was a bit out of reach at the moment. Sho wasn’t able to be reasoned with effectively because she’d convinced herself that she knew what he actually wanted regardless of what he said, so nothing he said would count as evidence against it. That meant that ordering her to stop or to do something else wouldn’t work, regardless of how he did it, so he might as well not waste the effort. But what were the other options?

A Togami heir in such a compromised position, reduced to attempting to puzzle out how to negotiate a cessation of nonconsensual sex or at least to make it as painless as possible, it was positively stomach turning. No one could ever know that this had happened. He couldn’t have lost control this completely. He’d bring so much shame to his family, he felt he may never be able to face his father again. He supposed he would just have to go along with what Sho had decided and want it instead. Then this was all planned and fully under control. A much better situation, if a bit distasteful to discuss. 

“You’re right, Sho,” he heard himself say, his characteristic condescension sweeping back into the tone, “I didn’t think you’d understand so quickly.” 

Sho lit up with the praise, pulling back from sucking on his penis to bounce on the bed, “Thanks, Master! I’m so happy! I’ve wanted to do this so badly, I guess we really are a perfect match since you want it too! Don’t worry, I started as soon as you were really asleep so we have hours and hours before we’re supposed to get up!” 

The cold dread he felt run down his spine didn’t require response, and he threw himself into his selected role, ignoring such feelings completely, “Ah, I’m glad I could count on you to take care of that.” He wondered if he could just get back to sleep while she did this instead. Missing out on an entire night’s rest would really reduce his productivity for the next day. Not to mention there may be injuries to attend to. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on relaxing his body. With sufficient self discipline, one ought be able to sleep anywhere, at any time, so this was a convenient test if nothing else. 

Sho latched back onto her Master’s cock, sucking with gleeful enthusiasm. She loved everything about it. The way it tasted and the way it filled up her mouth, especially as he got harder. She wanted to play in his blood too, but it wasn’t time for that yet. First she needed to show him how much she wanted his cum and to touch him and have him inside her. Then she could show him how much she wanted other things. She licked at the head of his penis, wrapping her hand around the shaft and giving it a gentle squeeze. 

Byakuya bit the inside of his lip in frustration. He couldn’t sleep while this was going on. It was too distracting and stimulating. Which, of course it was. Were people generally able to sleep while receiving oral sex? He didn’t think so. He gave brief thought to the fact that people were sometimes able to stop being present during traumatic experiences, a fact that explained Sho’s existence in the first place, but he doubted he’d find that peace either. There would be a bitter shame in admitting that he was weak enough to be traumatized by this in the first place. It seemed he was doomed to be painfully aware of everything happening. 

His penis’s interpretation of events was thus far more generous. It was only concerned with immediate physical sensation, and that, up to this point, was mostly pleasurable. He’d started leaking pre-cum down onto her greedy tongue. Sho pumped her hand up and down and sucked intensely on the head, swirling her tongue within the seal of her lips. She was soon rewarded with his orgasm and ejaculate filled her mouth. 

Sho grabbed a small plastic bag from her skirt pocket where it lay discarded by the side of the bed. She spat the fluid into it and held it up for Byakuya to see. “I love this, Master! It’s my second favorite liquid, only yours though. I’m so happy!” she beamed. 

“Don’t be disgusting. At least not more so than you must be,” Byakuya rolled his eyes and looked away. Bodily fluids being discussed in detail was nauseating, and this didn’t help the fact that he was still all too aware of his loss of control.

“But Master, I want everything with you! She wants to have your baby, you know? I don’t really want a baby unless you want me to have one because I wouldn’t know what to do with one at all, but she wants to be a normal little wife to you. We could get her pregnant with this,” she gestured to the bag, “Wouldn’t that be fun? Miss Morose might smile for once,” Sho’s tone was sing-song and childish, giving Byakuya the distinct impression of being caught in some surreal horror movie. 

“No! Absolutely not!” he shouted, throwing the notion of composure to the side in response to the utterly unbearable idea of shaming his family so much that he would allow such an unsuitable creature to carry on his genes. 

“Do you really not want it, Master?” Sho tilted her head to the side, “Tonight is supposed to be what I want and showing you how important you are to me, but maybe you just don’t believe she really wants it. I’m sure she could do a good job for you! She’d eat and everything if she had your baby to feed.”

“No! Sho, I’m serious, I don’t want that! You’re not supposed to be thinking about her right now, remember? This is about me and you!” Byakuya sent up a desperate prayer to any gods that might be listening to please not allow that to happen. He may have to just die if it did. 

“Okay, Master! I’ll just keep some to play with then,” Sho grinned, “But right now, I want more!” She dipped her fingers into the cum to get them slippery, then pushed Byakuya’s legs up and apart. 

Byakuya suppressed a heavy sigh, of course he’d be subjected to this too. They’d done it once and he’d enjoyed it, and he imagined she was probably going to enact everything they’d ever done and more. 

Sho pushed one finger inside him, then another in quick succession. “I don’t know where you put the strap on, so I guess we’ll just have to do it like this, Master. I hope that’s okay!” she leaned down on top of him and started kissing his neck as she slid her fingers in and out. 

He enjoyed an all too brief reprieve of intensity while she found the right depth and rhythm to start his getting hard again. He was more agitated by the marks he was sure she was leaving all over his neck. More proof that she wanted him, as if anyone needed it. His shirt collar would help, but some were obviously too high up. He was actually going to have to admit to at least some portion of this. Unless perhaps she killed him to show that she wanted that with him too, but he rather doubted he’d get so lucky. 

Once his neck sufficiently resembled a cheetah in the pattern between normal skin and collected blood, Sho moved down to kiss his chest instead. At the adjusted angle, she was able to grasp his cock and jack him off with her other hand, while she continued fucking him with her fingers. Byakuya was starting to feel extremely overstimulated and overwhelmed and couldn’t keep back all manner of moans and whines, regardless of how undignified the racket seemed; though he did acknowledge dignity as a lost cause in this affair, any attention to it being merely for his comfort. 

Soon he was spilling cum over her hand, which she swiftly scooped up and added to the bag. She wiped her hands off on her skirt and sat back on her heels, watching his breathing return to normal. 

“That was awesome! I like how you keep sounding more desperate, do you think you’ll cry next time, Master? I wanna hear you cry!” 

“I’m uncertain,” he answered honestly with a slight shrug, though the position of his hands hid much of the gesture. He didn’t want to cry in front of her. But it would be so much worse to visibly resist crying. 

Sho picked up her scissors again and twirled them around her finger, licking her lips. “We’re gonna play a little with these!” she announced, “Not too much. I don’t wanna kill you or anything, but you’re gonna be all pretty!”

Byakuya kept his face impassive and hoped she’d show similar consideration for it. As long as he could cover the scars with his clothes it would be bearable enough. He didn’t like it, but he could tolerate it. 

“I wanna see your pretty blood, I bet it’s the best blood in the whole world!” Sho cackled, and, true to relatively careless form, jabbed the sharp end of the scissors into the top of Byakuya’s thigh. 

Byakuya heard himself scream and was surprised at the shrillness of the sound. He’d never been stabbed before and, while he was certain that she’d probably taken care to avoid anything too major, she had embedded the metal over an inch into his muscle. His heart leapt in his chest when she reached for the scissors again and ripped them out, it almost being as painful as putting them in. 

Blood oozed from the puncture, reassuringly not in a pressurized spray that would be indicated, had she hit an artery. It pooled on his skin and slipped down either side. He had a few seconds to breathe before she stabbed the other leg in roughly the same spot, this time twisting the scissors once inside, then jerking them out again. This puncture bled a bit more, but still not alarmingly so. 

“You can really tell your blood is noble, Master,” she licked some off of his leg, “It’s the best I’ve ever had. I wanna bathe in it, but don’t worry, I won’t take that much!” 

Byakuya hummed acknowledgement, gritting his teeth against the pain. He saw her open the scissors and start scanning his body, as though it were a canvas, and he wished he’d thought to close his eyes. He was starting to tremble and there was nothing he could do about it. 

Sho slashed several moderate cuts into each of his thighs, then started working up his stomach. She made them mostly symmetrical and in varying depths, but none deep enough to risk bleeding out. She covered his chest and started down his arms, carving beautiful line after line. The bedsheets were certainly ruined and the mattress may be soon as well, but she got a nice coating of blood covering nearly everything she wanted to touch. 

“Master, I want to slit your throat so badly,” she whined, “I’m so wet in my southern hemisphere, it’d be so good. But then it’d be over so quick. I can’t. I can’t waste you like that. You’re worth so much more than those disposable pretty little men, but god I want it!” 

The endorphins were finally bringing Byakuya a modicum of relief. He thought he should perhaps be worried about the blood loss because she sounded a bit far away now, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He wanted that distance. 

“Oh well, I’ll just do a little something else for my lady bits,” she grinned and held the blade of her scissors to his penis, slowly pressing them in. She etched a deep cut down each side of his glans, and slashed a few shallow ones over the top of the shaft, then set the scissors to the side. 

“Oh, that’s just perfect!” she giggled, pressing her fingers into the deep cuts she’d made. 

Byakuya’s tears were consistent now, a silent stream down under his eyes and across his cheeks to the pillow. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to happen from here, except that he suspected being unconscious would be soothing. 

Sho climbed on top of him and guided his penis inside her with some difficulty, as it was difficult to maintain an erection while losing blood. She ground down against him, nearly cumming form just the image of his blood all over her. She reached for the scissors again and cut his wrists free to pull his arms around her. 

“Don’t worry, Master. See, I know what you want. This is how much I want you. I want everything with you. Everything. Always. You’ll never get rid of me,” she rambled in between kisses. She reached down and rubbed her clitoris with her blood covered finger tips while she rode him. 

Byakuya gave no response, but held her, sensing this would soon be over and he’d be asleep again. He mentally rehearsed waking up and showering, then dressing his wounds and hoped he’d be able to do so without interruption. Maybe he could send Touko to find him something for pain or to bring him something from the library to read so he could stay in bed. But he’d have to change the sheets and that would be quite a challenge. 

Her moaning upon orgasm startled him back into the present for the briefest moment before the world went black. Sho, satisfied with her plan, happily set to cleaning up so that the room wouldn’t make Touko pass out immediately when she woke up.


	2. The Morning After

The morning announcement woke Byakuya, bringing him to sudden awareness of pain. A splitting pain in his head, an aching in both wrists, burning down his arms, stomach, and thighs, throbbing in the tops of his thighs, and the sharpest ache he could imagine in his penis. He opened his eyes and reached out for his glasses, gritting his teeth to endure the movement induced increase of pain silently, as Touko and Sho were asleep on his chest, and regardless of which one of them would wake up, he didn’t want to deal with it. His fingertips brushed their glasses before closing around his own. Once his full power of sight was restored, he looked down at his body. 

The resulting bile rising in his throat made him wish he hadn’t looked, but an accurate assessment was necessary. His chest and part of his abdomen were obscured by their hair, but, from what he could see, he had a rather great need of bandages. He could see that Sho had removed a lot of the bloody fabric from the situation; his pajamas were entirely missing now, and so were most of the sheets. Presumably Sho had been unable or unwilling to move him, so she’d just cut most of them away. The mattress was stained but he thought he might smell the faint scent of laundry detergent, so it appeared she’d tried to fix that as well. His thighs had huge blooming bruises nearly entirely covering the front of them, with the puncture in the middle. Each thigh also had moderately severe gashes framing the edge of the bruise, such that he would have preferred to have stitches, if a doctor’s attention had been available, but it was too late for that now. What he could see of his stomach matched the desire for stitches, in that the cuts there were deep as well, some split wide enough that he could see down into the layer of abdominal fat there. His arms were in a similar state.

And his penis barely seemed worth thinking about. Ruined was the word that came to mind. His body was generally ruined, of course. There was no way he’d ever be able to explain these scars to anyone worth having a child with, so he supposed he just couldn’t do that. It was a problem, but he was still needing to deal with an immediate physical problem, not an eventual social one. But his penis was in a horrible shape. The two deep cuts on the glans that she’d pulled apart were ragged and meant that the head of his penis was sort of in thirds. The other cuts on the shaft were less serious, but they’d all scar horribly. And scars on mobile tissue were bound to cause issues later. 

He noted a few stray tears had slipped from his eyes, leaving wet trails on his cheeks. There was a lot that he’d need to resign himself to, he supposed, but all of the decisions about that could be undertaken after he dealt with first aid. His face burned with the shame of having allowed this to happen. He’d lost control of his relationship, he’d been absent minded and forgetful, if this were the real world, there could have been even more dire consequences, as life ruining as these may end up. 

Byakuya took a deep breath and thought through the steps before he started moving. A single wasted motion would be undesirable in this case. He needed to get out of bed, then he needed to take a shower. After those were completed, he could reassess the situation, but it was most likely that he would need a good deal of bandages, medical tape, some disinfectant, perhaps an antibacterial ointment, and preferably something to make each time he moved something short of agony. So, he needed to shower, dress enough to walk to the nurse’s office or warehouse, then come back. He supposed he could send one of them to get the supplies, but he didn’t really want to talk about it. He could just tell them he didn’t want to talk about it, but it still seemed difficult. He’d make that decision after showering. 

With some difficulty, mainly due to him moving stiffly and trying not to be dizzy, he extricated himself from under them without waking them. Once he was on his feet, he swayed once, then made his way to the bathroom. Physical weakness was to be expected after blood loss. He needed a good deal to eat and drink, but he wasn’t sure that would actually be attainable. His body may have to settle for more sleep after he attended to the injuries. He turned on the shower and stepped inside, stifling the involuntary cry that arose by clamping his hand firmly over his mouth. The water stung the cuts, not nearly as much as he was sure disinfectant would later, but he’d not been as prepared for this as he should have been. 

Moving robotically, Byakuya picked up a cloth and soap and began washing away all the dried blood and whatever other filth may have gotten on his skin during last night’s encounter. Certain sections needed scrubbing, but most came off relatively easily. Washing over the deeper cuts was both painful and a bit alarming. He’d been injured before, certainly, but never left to deal with having what simply constituted holes in his body on his own. Once he was mostly clean, his vision started going a bit spotty, so he sat down on the floor, under the water and took a few deep breaths. 

“Maybe I should ask someone for help,” he mumbled to himself, resting his head on his knee, “But what would I even say? And who would I ask? No, I’ll have to be self sufficient. As it should be. I’ll prevail or I won’t. I suppose I’ll just die otherwise.” 

After what sufficed as a pep talk, he struggled to his feet to finish washing. He washed his hair and conditioned it, then rinsed off, and turned off the shower. He pulled a towel from the rack and hissed through his teeth while he patted his skin dry, wincing when he was required to touch the cuts and bruises. He decided there was no need to actually get fully dressed to walk to get the supplies he needed, so he pulled on a bathrobe. It would be mildly undignified to run into anyone on the way, but it was worth not having to dress over uncovered injuries. The hickies on his neck would be a bit of a problem at any point, but that was just distasteful, not utterly horrifying. 

Glancing at Touko and Sho, he saw they were still asleep, curled up on the bed. A slight hint of anger played at the back of his mind. How could Sho be so absurdly unintelligent? As if someone like him would want anything like that. But that feeling was quickly overtaken with a much larger wave of anger at himself. Sho was a lunatic, she wasn’t reliable, and needed to be controlled. He knew that. But he’d still let this happen. It was his fault. And he was the one who had to live with it. 

He swept out of the room with purpose, heading to the nurse’s office. If that door locked, he could clean and bandage everything there. If not, he’d have to carry everything back. If he couldn’t find what he needed there, he’d have to go to the warehouse, which would be a bit more of a pain, someone was more likely to be there. 

“Byakuya!” Taka’s voice was the worst possible sound for his headache and he glared, looking over at the over-enthusiastic boy.

“Yes?” it was a bit difficult to project the appropriate air of dignity in a bathrobe in the middle of the hallway, but this embarrassment would be over with quickly if he had anything to say about it. 

“It’s so good to see you out and about this morning!” Taka shouted with a huge grin, “Are you coming to breakfast? I think you should probably get dressed properly first, of course, but perhaps you’re going for a bath first?”

“I have an errand,” Byakuya sighed dismissively, “Excuse me.” 

Taka frowned, “Well, alright. But after you’re done, come to breakfast! We’ve missed you and Touko! I could make you something to eat!” he followed Byakuya a few steps down the hall. 

“Alright, we’ll be there later. Now, excuse me,” Byakuya insisted a bit more firmly, then strode off to complete the journey. He did need to eat regardless and not being alone with Touko might be better than otherwise. He wasn’t sure. 

Thankfully leaving Taka behind, he went into the nurse’s office, closed and locked the door behind him, and took a deep breath. He rifled through the cabinets and drawers and made a pile of supplies on the counter. After gathering everything he needed, he took some painkillers with water from the sink, then set his robe to the side to begin the arduous process of treating the injuries. 

He splashed the disinfectant liberally over everything she’d touched, refusing to react to the burning, then looked through the bandaging supplies. He’d gotten out a stack of butterfly closures and began applying them to the widest split cuts, bringing the edges together. Hopefully that would end with scars that were a bit less horrifying to look at, not that anything short of plastic surgery stood a chance of fixing it. He taped the gashes on his thighs, stomach, and arms this way, then wrapped gauze around them. He daubed antibiotic ointment onto the punctures, then covered them with bandaids. 

“I suppose I just need to wait for the bruise to work itself out,” he said thoughtfully, experimentally feeling how hot the affected skin was, “Maybe I’ll find some ice packs later, that might help a little.” 

Then he turned his attention to his penis, the main challenge. A butterfly closure wouldn’t keep the gashes closed because of the location it was on. He couldn’t keep it fully covered unless he intended to use a catheter, which seemed like a possibly good idea, so he wouldn’t have to adjust position until it healed, but he wasn’t entirely sure how to get one in. Anything he did was likely to be horrifically painful and bothersome, but doing nothing was likely to lead to a serious infection. He sat down on the chair to consider the predicament. 

“Puhuhu!” Monokuma appeared in the middle of the room, giggling at him, “Hey Byakuya! Being a spoiled brat who doesn’t even cook for himself probably isn’t making this situation any easier for you! I bet you wish you had your butler to help!” 

“Well, you’d be the one who could arrange that, couldn’t you?” Byakuya said mildly, willing himself not to blush at being forced to have a conversation while naked and considering a very intimate problem. 

“Oh, I don’t know what you’re talking about. You can’t see him again unless you graduate!” Monokuma smiled, “But you’ve got quite a nice life going here, don’t you? Two psycho girlfriends to take care of your every whim! Last night’s action was pretty hot!” 

“Yes, it’s an excellent diversion until I can leave this place and kill you,” he waved dismissively, “Now what was your business here?” 

“Aw, Byakuya, you’re going to hurt my feelings!” Monokuma pouted, “I thought we were getting closer! It was so personal watching you cry on the security footage last night while you got all cut up. Such wonderful despair gets me so excited!” 

“I’m glad you enjoyed it, but if that’s all you wanted to talk about, I’m afraid I must apologize and return to my work.” 

“You know who’s really good at dealing with bandages?” Monokuma grinned maliciously, “Sakura! Why don’t I get her for you? I’m sure she can help!” 

“No need to trouble her or subject me to having to deal with her ignorance,” Byakuya disagreed, “I can handle everything myself.” 

“Oh, you’re not fun!” Monokuma crossed his arms, “Maybe I could just pass some of these pictures, I’m sure everyone wants to know what the Ultimate Serial Killer is capable of inside the school,” he held up several polaroid style photographs, depicting Byakuya, crying and bloody. 

“Ah, the surveillance cameras can screenshot then. How helpful,” Byakuya pointedly ignored the content of what he’d actually said. 

“Yeah, just in case there’s evidence that I can’t figure out how to describe that needs to be in the Monokuma File,” he explained, “And I’ve got lots of fun pictures of everyone, but these have to be the best! I’m sure everyone will want to see!” 

“Do as you wish,” Byakuya shrugged, refusing to play along and be visibly embarrassed or afraid. 

“Fine, I’ll just keep them for when you’re in a better mood,” Monokuma folded his arms again and turned away, “Good luck with that. You better hurry though, Taka will be looking for you soon!” he popped back out of existence. 

Spurred on to finish quickly and alone, Taka found a catheter kit in the cabinet and looked at it for a moment. The mechanics were obvious. Friction was the only concern, thus he found a medical lubricant and put on the end of the tube first. Doing anything with his penis in its current state was the height of objectionable, but he persevered on an uncomfortable mixture of willpower and shame. He grasped his penis firmly in one hand and slid the tube inside as far as it would go, then he tripped the small switch on the side that inflated the bubble to keep it in place. Once secure, he used some narrow gauze to wrap the head of his penis in, pushing the parts together. Situating the wrappings under his foreskin comfortably was impossible, but he eventually achieved tolerably, then he wrapped it tightly in medical tape to hold everything together. The catheter was a good anchor in the middle to keep everything in line and he was pleased with the dual purpose. He bandaged the cuts on his shaft as well, then put his robe back on, tucking the catheter bag in an internal pocket, along with bags to change it, more butterfly closures, gauze, and tape. If he’d done everything properly, he wouldn’t have to change bandages for a couple of days safely and he could try to pretend that everything was normal enough until then. 

He slipped out of the nurse’s office, hoping for more privacy on the trek back to his room, but these hopes were quickly dashed when he saw Yasuhiro standing there. 

“Oh, hey Byakuya!” his absent smile seemed forced and Byakuya wondered if he could die of irritation. 

“Yes? What do you want?” he snapped, walking past him. If he was interfering with his plans, then he was going to do so by following him, not making him wait around. 

“Oh, me? Uh, I don’t want anything, man,” Hiro smiled, “But are you okay? Did you need medicine or something?” he gestured to the room Byakuya had exited. 

“If you must bother me with your being an imbecile this early in the morning, could you at least be honest? You were clearly waiting for me there. Why?”

“Taka told me to go check on you because you seemed upset this morning…” Hiro deflated with an apologetic smile, “He thought you might be going there since you were walking like your legs hurt... And the door was locked… So I waited.” 

“If I seemed upset, perhaps it’s because all of you insignificant ants refuse to leave me alone,” Byakuya wished he could sound more dismissive, but his feelings were getting a little out of hand and he sounded actively angry instead. 

“I’m sorry!” Hiro all but yelped, trying to smooth things over quickly, “I didn’t mean to bother you. But are you alright? Did something happen?” 

“And so what if it did?” Byakuya shouted, feeling himself sway very slightly, and stepping into it so that Hiro would just think he was in a hurry, “Do you really think it’s your business? Do you think you’d be able to help? Or even understand the problem? If I need a bad guess at the future, I’ll come get you, otherwise, it’s the utter height of hubris for you to even suggest that anything you could do or think or say would be useful to me. Do you understand?” 

Hiro stopped following him, instead staying where he’d been when he heard the parts of that he had actually understood. A chagrined smile spread across his cheeks and he rubbed the back of his neck, “Hey, I’m at least 30% right. That’s way better than a guess…. I’ll go tell Taka you’re alright.” 

By the time Byakuya was back at his room, his vision was blurry, bordering on double, and he was wishing he’d taken a lot more pain medicine, or found something stronger. After two unsuccessful tries, he slipped his key into the lock and let himself in. He was grateful to see them still sleeping soundly, so he’d at least have a moment’s privacy to get dressed. The catheter made putting on his pants a slight challenge, but it was eventually sorted when he thought to secure the bag to one calf before starting. Having pants, and a shirt and jacket covering the layers of bandages was soothing and all the evidence he could see of this rather unfortunate event were some dark splotches above his collar. 

He stared into the mirror at them. A scarf or make up would hide them, but it probably wasn’t worth the effort. Kiyotaka and Yasuhiro had both already seen them anyway, so hiding them would make it look like he was unnecessarily bothered. That could play into whatever story he was surely eventually going to be required to go with for why he was running about in a bathrobe and in such a surly mood. Something sexual and embarrassing, but nothing close to what happened. Maybe he’d been experimenting with something during a very passionate night with Sho. He could have gotten something stuck somewhere unmentionable and needed the tools from the nurse’s office to get it. That could also explain an unusual walk, if there had been one. It was foolish, perhaps, made him look a bit silly, but all in all, forgettable. Especially compared to the truth. The truth that he was weak and worthless and couldn’t even control one ridiculous girl who was obsessed with him. He met his own gaze, almost amused that it was still easy, wasn’t shame supposed to mean you couldn’t look yourself in the eye? He searched his face for any upset about what had happened, any sign of trauma that he’d have to suppress, but found nothing. His eyes were cold and empty, as always. 

Byakuya went back to the bed and noted the bloodstains on the mattress. They’d been cleaned up enough that he didn’t expect it to just start rotting and smell, so he could cover it with fresh sheets and worry about getting the stains out when he felt better. He got out fresh sheets and put them beside the bed, then set to waking his bed partner. 

“Touko?” he asked, sitting down to block her view of the mattress, “Wake up.” 

Touko frowned and rubbed at her eyes, “M-m-master?”

“Don’t look at the bed and don’t ask why. I want you to go into the bathroom and start the shower. I’ll be in to wash you off in a minute. Do it now,” his voice was calm and metered, and if he were being honest as well as observant, a bit more gentle than he usually was with her. Perhaps he was feeling some favoritism to the one who hadn’t managed to ruin his life, though if that showed, they might end up in a similar situation. 

“Gl-glasses?” she asked, standing up and avoiding looking at the bed, exactly as she was told. 

Byakuya leaned back and picked them up and put them in her hand. She hurried off to the bathroom immediately. Sho had had the good sense to wipe them off, so they weren’t still bloody, but Byakuya doubted she’d actually taken a shower and gotten satisfactorily clean on her own. He pulled the last scrap of sheet off the bed, flipped the mattress over, and put on the fresh sheets. His head continued to pound at every exertion and he decided they would certainly need to eat immediately upon her being suitable to leave the room. 

Touko was standing beside the shower, naked except her glasses, and watching the water with the expression one might expect of an intelligent house cat. Disgust and wariness, but some resignation. Byakuya reached around her and started unbraiding her hair. She blushed as if this constituted an embrace. 

“Wh-why did I sl-sleep so la-la-late?” she looked up at him, “You’re alre-already dre-dressed.” 

“I had an errand,” he shrugged, deeply grateful that Sho and Touko didn’t share memories. That was quite the blessing, in this case especially. 

“Oh. Was-was I here al-alone?” she wasn’t sure if that was terrifying or exciting. Byakuya didn’t usually leave her alone in his room. 

“Briefly,” he answered, taking her hand and guiding her into the shower. He took the sprayer off of the hook and deliberately wet her hair first, then sprayed her directly off in general before hanging it back up. 

“The shampoo is on the ledge. Wash your hair while I wash your body,” he kept instructions succinct and to the point, getting a cloth and soap to do as he said he would immediately. 

“Why-why me? You li-like to wa-wash her be-better!” Touko accused, trembling as she attempted to put shampoo on her hair, “She-she’s be-better at it!” 

“I assure you, I don’t love the task in any case,” Byakuya sighed, “But you’re doing just fine, Touko. We’ll be done soon. Then we’ll get breakfast.” 

“I can-can’t eat in fr-front of pe-people!” she objected, pausing her attempt at washing her hair to chew anxiously on a thumbnail instead. 

“I’m sure everyone has probably already left the dining hall. But if not, you’ll sit with me and we’ll ignore them and everything will be fine,” Byakuya took over washing her hair and made quick, efficient work of the process. He rinsed her off, then turned off the shower and handed her a towel. “Dry off, I’ll get your clothes.” 

As much as he kept insisting to himself that he would put off future concerns, they had a way of creeping back into his mind. Especially about Touko and Sho. They were the only ones he could ever let see him naked again. He couldn’t have these scars, it was unacceptable. In a relatively anonymous setting, a public bath or a sauna, perhaps he could get away with a vague story of unfortunate capture and torture or accident, but in any sort of relationship at all, there’d be no way he could explain. Any time when looking at his penis wouldn’t already be a horrendous violation of social conduct, he’d be unable to explain what had happened. It would be unacceptable for anything to have happened. He could never have a wife. He could never have a child. 

Unless it wasn’t part of his plan. Unless he committed to shaming his family. Then he could have them. Touko would be overjoyed at getting married, of course. And nobody need know about Sho. But what kind of life would that end up being? 

He’d gotten her clothes on autopilot from the dresser and gave them to her. “Get dressed, then I’ll comb your hair.” 

“Ma-master? Are you okay?” Touko asked. He was being suspiciously nice about everything. She quickly dressed, as she was told, then faced away from him so he could comb her hair. 

“I’m fine,” he didn’t bother with a more verbose lie, and quickly rid her hair of tangles, then parted in down the middle in the back and pushed half into her hands to braid, braiding the other half himself. At last, they were ready to go get food.


	3. Giving In to Despair

As the fates still seemed determined to torture him, the dining hall was not empty when he arrived with Touko. Sakura and Hina were at one table, setting up what appeared to be a meat and cheese tray, and Hiro was at another making some weird sculpture out of pretzels and icing. 

“Oh, good morning!” Hina smiled brightly when she saw them come in, “You come to get breakfast? We’re making a midmorning snack!” 

Byakuya sat down heavily in a chair, wondering again if dying of irritation was an option. 

“He-hey! Don’t spe-speak to Ma-master!” Touko objected, “He’s not int-interested in y-your b-b-boobs! He’s a re-refined gen-gentleman!” 

“I was talking to you too, you know?” Hina rolled her eyes, “And stop making everything about my boobs, sheesh.” 

“Why-why would I wa-want to ta-talk ab-about-about your b-boobs?! Th-that’s s-so lewd!” Touko hissed, alarmed. 

“I dunno, you just bring them up every time you talk to me. It’s kinda weird,” Hina shrugged. 

“I do n-not! What-what are y-you accusing me of?!” Touko shouted back. 

“Touko!” Byakuya quelled the argument sharply, “Stop yelling. You’re giving me a headache and the lunacy of this conversation in intolerable. Go to the kitchen and get us something to eat.” 

“You-you want me-me to cook f-for you, M-m-master?” her face lit up, “Li-like a gi-girlfriend?” 

“Please get me something to eat,” he confirmed, trying to ignore her projecting odd fantasies all over the order. 

“Of-of course! I’ll ma-make you, um, um, y-you’ll see! It’ll be perfect!” she ran off to the kitchen, head buzzing with all different ideas of what to make him and what would be most romantic. 

“Are you sure you want to eat something she makes you, dude?” Hiro laughed from his table, “You don’t know what a loony like her might come up with.” 

“Unless you’re offering to make me breakfast instead, keep your opinions to yourself,” Byakuya sighed. He was vaguely amused that shouting at Hiro this morning hadn’t affected his attitude towards him at all. He wondered if he’d still be friendly if he’d hit him or something instead. Probably. 

“I ain’t any good at cooking either, I usually just grab whatever,” Hiro laughed, “I just think you might end up with something dangerous, man.” 

“Hiro’s dumb, but he might be right,” Hina chimed in, putting a small selection of meats and cheeses on a saucer and bringing them over with a bottle of water, “Here, you can have some pre-breakfast in case she comes up with something crazy.” 

Byakuya looked down at the food and drink she’d sat in front of him, “Why are you giving this to me?” 

“We have lots of extra, and you don’t look like you feel very good,” Hina shrugged, “Besides, I, unlike you and your girlfriend, don’t hate other people just for existing. You don’t have to eat it, but there you go.” 

Objecting that Touko was not his girlfriend seemed pointless. Everyone had assigned them those roles, including Touko herself. Protesting just made everyone more emphatic about it anyway. He took the cap off of the bottle of water and drank nearly the entire thing in a series of gulps. Dehydration was certainly a portion of the headache he was experiencing and he couldn’t think of a good reason to spurn the food and drink he’d been given. It may confirm that he was feeling a bit unwell, but if everyone was going to be able to tell by looking anyway, there was no need to not benefit from their concern, in addition to being annoyed by it. He ate the stacked meat and cheese quickly, not particularly wanting to deal with Touko seeing that he had other food. It was delicious, probably because he’d been wanting to eat for the past few hours, it seemed, but either way he was pleased. He finished the bottle of water and felt a bit restored for it. 

Hina intuited that it may be a problem for Touko to know about that as well, so she collected the empty plate and bottle before she went to return her dishes to the kitchen. 

Byakuya smirked to himself. Being waited on this way felt pleasant and familiar. A small bright spot in an otherwise barely tolerable day. 

Touko came running back to his table with a small container of shaped rice balls, covered in various things. “I wa-wasn’t sure wh-what you li-like, M-master! So, I tr-tried a l-lot of th-things!” 

Byakuya took the container and looked at the rice balls. They seemed to be shaped mostly like hearts, though he wasn’t positive all of them were intended to be. He could identify one covered in sesame seeds and another with some sort of red sauce. But, it at least seemed mostly edible. 

“Thank you. You’ll share them with me,” he informed her, taking one of the rice balls and breaking it in half, giving a piece to each of them. 

“That’s so roman-man-mantic, Ma-master! Thank you!” Touko was distracted by the trappings associated with sharing a meal, especially prepared by her, and at approximately half of it without complaint. 

Ding dong bing bong

“Ahem! This is a school announcement!” Monokuma’s face appeared on the monitors, “It’s not an official motive yet, I need to do some more thinking, but I wanted to let you all know that I think some of your secrets may need to be updated! Obviously anything embarrassing you’ve done here at school was in full view of the cameras and we might just have to have a little movie night! Enjoy the rest of your day!” 

“Ugh, rotten bear,” Hina sighed, leaning against Sakura, “What’s he on about now?”

“Best not to think about it, Hina. It doesn’t matter anyway. Our shame is all that gives the secrets power, so, we simply should choose to ignore it,” she rose from the table, “Let us go do some more training.” 

“Ma-master?” Touko whined, “I’m sc-scared. What-what’s he go-going to te-te-tell everyone?” 

Byakuya felt himself get up from the table and walk back toward his room. He’d heard Touko’s question, but found himself unable to respond to her. It crossed his mind that he could tell the truth or he could lie, but he didn’t end up doing anything at all. 

“Ma-master?!” he heard her shouting after him, but she stayed where she was for long enough that he had a sufficient head start to just lock himself in his room, away from everything that he could potentially need to react to. 

He crawled into bed and covered his head with the blanket. He didn’t realize he was crying until the pillow was soaking wet and cold against his cheek. He dimly heard his doorbell a few times, but was surprised to find that he just didn’t respond to it. He fully intended to shout at whoever was bothering him, how dare they intrude when he clearly didn't want to be bothered? But it just didn’t happen. 

He didn’t remember falling asleep, but he must have, as he was suddenly waking up. It took a few seconds to identify why he was suddenly awake. 

“Falling to despair already?” Monokuma answered his unspoken question with a laugh. 

Byakuya didn’t uncover his head or give any indication that he’d heard him. He imagined telling him to leave his room, but it didn’t happen. Was he so out of control now that he couldn’t get his mouth to do what he wanted either? This was a relatively depressing new low. 

“Willingly going to bed with a serial killer,” Monokuma continued, “Quite the mistake there. I thought you were supposed to be smart. What have you done?” 

That wasn’t the mistake, not according to Byakuya’s timeline, anyway. It was a problem when he allowed Sho to have too much time to come up with plans and delude herself into such nonsense. He didn’t say anything. 

“How would your father feel if he knew such shame?” Monokuma cackled, “You may have won being the heir, but you’ve made sure the line ends with you! Maybe you did it on purpose? You just cracked up under the pressure!”

No, there’d be less shame that way. It would have been intentional. He would be in control, just wrong. This was worse. He was weak and ineffective. He’d lost control. That was all. He still didn’t say anything.

“But how could she do that to you?! Isn’t it terrible!? Doesn’t it make you so angry!?” 

Angry? Sure. He’d been furious with himself. He thought he might still be, somewhere deep inside. But he couldn’t seem to feel much at the moment. Maybe that was why his mouth had stopped obeying him. Would everything? Would he just lie here and starve to death because he couldn’t move? 

“Well, I guess if you’re just going to lay here in despair, I’ll leave you to it,” Monokuma singsonged with a shrug, “But if you want to actually do something about it, you can. If you can get up, that is! I haven’t shown anyone yet and if we were distracted with another class trial, maybe I won’t!” 

Byakuya was pretty sure he felt his presence leave, but he didn’t actually look around to check. He wasn’t sure what to do. He’d woken up feeling rather distinctly hopeless. He was clearly unable to handle this situation, which meant he might die here in this school. Sho could kill him or someone else because he apparently couldn’t keep a handle on everything. But, if he did survive and escape this place, well, there was no satisfaction in that idea either. He felt only dread at the idea of facing his father or continuing any of his plans from before. 

“Well, if I’m going to be this pathetic, I might as well commit to it,” Byakuya’s own voice surprised him. He hadn’t actually meant to say that bit out loud, but he’d given up any semblance of sense for the moment. 

He got up and straightened his clothes, wincing at each step until he took some more painkillers he’d brought from the nurse’s office. He changed the catheter bag in the bathroom, then exited the room. He gave thought to walking back to the nurse’s office for supplies, but decided he’d been there enough for the day. That might alarm someone. Instead he went to the warehouse. It was equally likely to have something that would work for what he was looking for, though it would certainly be more difficult to find. 

He paced up and down the aisles, wishing the organizational system allowed for more specific navigation. Eventually he found a small bottle of rat poison, intended to be mixed into a mostly liquid bait. A suitable death for someone who worked out to be so insignificant. He tucked the bottle into his pocket and picked up a box of chocolate candies that would suffice as an excuse should he run into anyone on his way back. 

As luck would have it, Touko was waiting outside his door. She jumped dramatically when he appeared. “Ma-master! Are you-you okay? Did I an-an-annoy you too much? D-do you-you ha-hate me n-n-now?” she stammered. 

“Come on in,” was not the response he expected to give, but it’s the one he ended up with, “We’ll share this,” he held up the candy. 

Touko frowned, very confused at his behavior, but happily followed him into his room. He sat the box of candy on the bed and sat down beside it, patting the bed to invite her to join him. Inside the box were several types of wrapped truffles and he pushed a white chocolate one into her hands, taking a caramel one for himself. 

“I’m gl-glad you do-don’t ha-ha-hate me,” Touko smiled, obediently eating the chocolate. 

Byakuya nodded, robotically eating his own candy. The taste was sweet and a bit disgusting in its intensity, but it would surely taste better than the next thing he was planning to put in his mouth. After they’d eaten approximately half of the candy, him handing her each piece before taking his own, he decided it was time. 

“Excuse me,” without waiting for a response, he went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. He still couldn’t find any trace of mental upheaval on his face, but he was beginning to think that was merely because he was blind to it. He lost a few minutes to gazing at his reflection and a sense of peace started blotting out the shame and what he suspected was fear. 

Since waking up in the school, everything had been so stressful. Since he born, everything had been so stressful. Everything about his life, a struggle to be the best. To earn his place in the family, to avoid shaming his family name. And recently, to survive, to manage Touko and Sho, to work on getting out of here. None of it mattered now. His entire life would amount to nothing, just like he’d always feared, but it would be by choice, and that felt uniquely free. 

He pulled the bottle from his pocket, popped off the cap, and drank it in one gulp. The taste was odd and bitter, it would have to be a very foolish rat to continue eating anything with that flavor, even partially masked, but it was done. 

“Ma-master?” Touko’s voice crept up on the moment, making its way to his ears from the doorway, where she stood. He’d, obviously, been unable to lock the door, and his control had slipped such that she no longer stayed where he put her. 

“Yes?” he smiled tightly, praying she wouldn’t have time to do anything about what he’d just done, even if she was inclined to. 

“What was in tha-that bo-bottle?” she peered at it in his hand, eyes widening as she recognized the toxicity warning symbol. 

“Just some medicine,” he put it back in his pocket, “It’s just to help me feel better.”

She shook her head, “You-you’re ly-lying, aren’t y-y-you?” horrified realization started her crying, tears immediately coursing down her cheeks, “You-you ca-can’t d-do that! Tha-that’s som-something like I w-w-would d-do! No-not some-someone pe-per-perfect l-like you!”

“I’m afraid I’ve disappointed all of us then. I turned out just as worthless as you,” he sighed, and pushed past her to the bed to eat another chocolate, hoping it would clear the taste from his mouth. 

Touko’s heart was beating out of her chest and she had no idea what to do, but she knew she needed to do it fast. She grabbed his key off of the bed and ran out of the room. He might never forgive her for interfering, but even if he really, truly hated her, it would be far better than never seeing him again. 

Byakuya sighed heavily, feeling his peace slip away again. “I can’t even have this. I’ll be subjected to attempts to save me. They might even succeed. I don’t have anything anymore. This is such a disgrace.” 

Touko ran to Kyoko’s room and frantically ran the doorbell over and over until she appeared, baffled at the door, “What is it?”

“Ma-master! Poi-poi-p-poison!” Touko shouted, grabbing for Kyoko’s hand and tugging her back to Byakuya’s room. He hadn’t bothered to lock it, so she was able to burst in, dragging her very confused companion. “Fi-fix-fix it!” 

“If you’ll calm down and tell me the problem, I’ll be happy to help,” Kyoko reassured her panicking classmate before turning to Byakuya, despite what she’d heard about his unusual behavior this morning, she was still relatively certain that he’d have more helpful information. “What have you done with poison?”

“I drank it,” his voice felt almost too heavy to speak, but only almost. He suspected it was merely exhaustion, not any poison affects yet. He still felt lucid and fine, or, as much as he had at any point today, just irritated. 

“Ah, I see.” Kyoko went over to the notepad on the desk and wrote out a brief missive. 

“Please find some activated charcoal and give it to Touko to bring to me. Out of respect for everyone’s privacy, please do not ask any questions, as this is a delicate matter. Thank you, Kyoko.” 

She folded it in half and gave it to Touko, “Take this to Sakura. She’s in her room. Do not tell her anything about the problem, and bring what she gives you back to me. Do you understand?” 

Touko nodded, rubbing at her still streaming eyes with her sleeve, and dashed out of the room as directed. Kyoko turned to Byakuya with a slight, friendly smile. “What poison did you drink?” activated charcoal would help for any except those she’d have to induce vomiting over, and she wouldn’t need additional supplies for that, but it would help to make the distinction. 

He rolled his eyes and handed her the bottle. “You don’t need to pretend you care. It’s not a murder, there’s nothing you need to solve. I don’t know why she bothered you about it.” 

Her eyes flicked over the label and she nodded, pleased that activated charcoal should take care of it, as long as she got enough in him in time. “I’m not pretending and I’m glad she came to get me. I know you don’t consider me a friend, but I’m sure you understand that, simply as a fellow person, I don’t want you dead.” 

“I suppose you would feel that way,” Byakuya shrugged, “Does it change your feelings if I emphasize that I clearly did this intentionally and I do want to be dead?” 

“Not particularly. By all accounts, you’ve been acting strangely all day. I’m not sure you’re in your right mind, let alone one where you ought be making permanent decisions. Do you want to talk about it?” Kyoko handed the bottle back, neither of them had need of it, but in his current state, Byakuya could potentially be attached to having anything, so she wanted to ensure she wasn’t stepping on any boundaries unnecessarily. 

“I’m not sure. This poison tastes awful and I doubt it’s very effective on rats. They probably notice it immediately.” Byakuya took another candy from the box, “You can have one, if you want. They were my excuse for being in the warehouse.” 

“Thank you, but I don’t want any candy at the moment. Why did you decide to drink poison?” her prompting was gentle, but sufficient to guide Byakuya’s responses, in the relatively desperate emotional state he was in. 

“Because there’s no hope for me,” he said simply, “I’ve lost control. My life, as it was meant to be, is ruined, and I have no desire to live a substandard existence disappointing myself at every turn.” 

“That does sound very difficult. Did something happen? Or is your life somehow ruined by you being trapped here for now or something like that?” she felt it important to ascertain if Byakuya’s newfound suicidality was in response to the mutual known stressors or something more recent and specific, she suspected the latter. 

“Something happened,” he sighed again, “Though being absent from the world stage for long doesn’t really help my prospects. Honestly, it might be a combination.”

Kyoko nodded her understanding, “Would you like to talk about what happened?” 

“What would the point of that be?” he narrowed his eyes.

“It’s possible there may be a solution you hadn’t thought of or someone else could have relevant information for guiding decisions. Obviously you’re certainly smart enough to have worked out most things for yourself, but with such a big decision as ending your life, it may be worthwhile to hear outside perspectives,” the line between suggesting she may have something of value to say and insulting Byakuya’s intelligence was a bit thin, though Kyoko navigated it with ease. 

Touko crashed back into the room, pushing a package into Kyoko’s hands, “Here!”

“Thank you, Touko. You may sit down,” Kyoko smiled at her, “Now, Byakuya, we need a bit more time to discuss this, so, could you please swallow as much of this as possible?” she wasn’t sure what dose made sense in any case, but she knew it wasn’t something one could really overdose on.

“Are you actually giving me a choice?” he asked, crossing his arms. He may be pathetic enough to give up, but he wouldn’t be patronized. 

“Well, I’d like to keep it a request. But until I’m satisfied that you’re in your right mind and really want to do this, I’m afraid I must insist. Though, if I have to force you, we may need to get Sakura involved.” 

“What right do you have to need to be satisfied with my decisions?” he snapped. 

“None whatsoever, but it’s a liberty I’m taking out of necessity in this case. I am honestly very sorry that I have to,” Kyoko sighed sadly, “I’d like to keep this as painless as possible and preserve your dignity and agency as far as I’m able.” 

“Fine,” he took the activated charcoal from her and began swallowing it. “Touko, get me some water,” he ordered between mouthfuls. 

She obeyed, retrieving him water in a cup from the bathroom. Once Byakuya had taken sufficient activated charcoal to save his life, Kyoko prompted him again.

“What happened to ruin your life, Byakuya?” 

He glanced at Touko and sighed, “I’d rather not discuss it.” 

Kyoko gave herself a moment to consider before responding. If there was anyone Byakuya trusted, it was Touko. Or Sho perhaps, if they counted as separate people. So, him being unwilling to say in front of her seemed a bit odd, if he was willing to entertain the notion of talking about it at all. If he’d been thinking it was something to do with her, that might make sense, but it was a wonder that Touko wasn’t making this about her being annoying already, without cause, so if it actually had involved her, surely she would have worked that in. Ah, the obvious answer. 

“Is it something you might be more comfortable talking about in front of Sho?” clearly it had involved her, but saying it any other way might imply to Touko that she’d been to blame, and, true or not, that would make her a bit harder to manage. 

“Perhaps.” 

“In that case, Touko, could you make yourself sneeze for us? It will help me help Byakuya,” Kyoko directed. 

Touko tickled her nose with the end of one of her pigtails and was soon rewarded with a sneeze. Sho sat in her place a split second later, her tongue lolling to the side and her eyebrows scrunched in confusion. 

“Hey! What’s going on?!” she grinned, “Are we having a threesome?! I don’t really wanna share Master, but Mystery Girl is probably the best choice!” 

Byakuya found his voice had utterly left him again and he was unable to respond to that suggestion with the appropriate derision. A stray tear fell onto his jacket and showed him that he was crying again. Why would that have happened?


	4. Important Information

Sho looked bewildered at Byakuya’s state, then turned to face Kyoko, “What’s wrong? What’s going on?” she demanded. 

“I’m attempting to figure that out. What I know is that Byakuya drank some poison, Touko came to get me, I sent her to fetch activated charcoal, he’s taken it and is no longer in danger, and now I’m trying to figure out why he would attempt to take his own life. He has answered that something did happen to prompt this action, and I believe it may involve you, based on his reluctance regarding discussing it in front of Touko,” Kyoko gave an efficient account of the facts known to an increasingly furious Sho. 

“You fucking bitch! How dare you?! I wouldn’t do anything to upset him! I love my Master! You’re lying!” she darted out a hand and slapped Kyoko, hard, across the face. It wasn’t worth sullying her scissors over, not that she knew where any were at the moment, but that was unacceptable. 

“I’m glad to hear it, Sho,” Kyoko chose to ignore the aggression, “Perhaps you can help us figure out what happened then. It seems Byakuya is having a hard time speaking. I also have it from Taka, Hiro, and Hina that Byakuya has been acting rather strangely today, behavior ranging from going to the nurse’s office in a bathrobe, to appearing in the dining hall with Touko and having her prepare breakfast.” 

“Well, I know why he’d go to the nurse’s office,” Sho grinned, forgetting her hostility, “We got pretty wild last night! But I don’t know otherwise. Master?” she looked at him again. 

Byakuya was appalled at his inability to speak. He knew that he had to pretend that he wanted it. Especially now that she was telling Kyoko they’d done it, but he couldn’t make it work. A large part of his mental processing was being taken up with the ridiculous urge to hide or just go to sleep, but nothing he did got him closer to speaking. He wanted to agree that they’d gotten a bit passionate and tried some new things and carefully steer her away from anything related to the truth, but his mouth wouldn’t work and he just found himself crying harder, breath catching in his throat instead. 

Kyoko frowned, a bit concerned. She knew it was generally useless to bother herself about Byakuya’s relationship with Touko and Sho, but this was very worrisome. She disapproved of how he treated them, of course, but it was on her radar that both of them were certainly not respecting his boundaries in specific ways. Usually she just hoped that everything evened out in the end because none of them would listen to her anyway, but with this response, it seemed clear that something very, very bad happened to Byakuya. She wondered if it was related to what Monokuma had been hinting at all day. 

“Master?!” Sho’s volume had jumped several levels, “Don’t cry! It’s okay! What’s wrong?!” she looked desperately back at Kyoko, “Fix it!” 

“I will do my best,” Kyoko nodded, “What did you two do last night?”

“I don’t know why the fuck that would matter,” Sho grumbled, irritated at the delay in figuring out the problem, but decided to answer because maybe being reminded of it would cheer Byakuya up, “But fine. I surprised him!” 

“Could you elaborate on that?”

“He was waiting for me to show him that I want him no matter what and I’ll do anything to be close to him!” Sho beamed proudly, “So, I showed him!” 

Kyoko’s horror didn’t reach the surface and her face remained impassive despite the cold dread settling in her stomach. This would have to be handled with extreme delicacy and precision. “How did you do that?” She glanced at Byakuya from the corner of her eye- he was pale as a sheet and still crying silently. His inability to understand or accept his feelings would definitely complicate giving any kind of comfort. 

“I waited til he was asleep and tied him up,” Sho giggled, “It was so hot. I’m getting all excited just thinking about it! We should do it again, Master! Will that make you feel better?”

Byakuya wanted to yell at her to stop talking, to stop embarrassing him in front of Kyoko, to go away, anything. He didn’t want to hear this. He could imagine the pity he was sure he’d see on Kyoko’s face once she understood and it made him feel sick. He didn’t want sympathy or pity. He was pathetic and he knew it, but someone else knowing felt awful. He tried to pull his legs up to his chest to rest his head on, but stopped when he felt a sharp pain on his thigh, then wet. He was bleeding. Having a body was too exhausting to deal with, so he just flopped back on the bed. One of them would eventually notice the blood and do something.

“What did you do after you tied him up, Sho?” 

“Oh, we fucked and played with my scissors and stuff!” Sho bounced in place, “He was so happy I figured out what he wanted!” 

“You played with your scissors?” that specific might be helpful to know more about. Rape was certainly traumatizing enough to deal with, especially for someone like Byakuya, control being taken from him must have been horrifying, but she imagined he might well simply repress that unless there was something he couldn’t. 

“Yeah! Master wanted to know how much I wanted absolutely everything with him! So, I stabbed him and cut him, especially to get blood on my southern hemisphere!” Sho recounted gleefully, “That’s why he probably went to the nurse’s office! His cock especially probably needed stitches or something,” she shrugged, “It was so much fun!” 

Ah, there’d been some mutilation. He was probably in a lot of pain and it sounded like she may have done something permanently disfiguring, which would certainly explain why he felt his life was ruined. 

“That sounds a bit serious,” Kyoko nodded, “I imagine scars might be difficult for him to deal with eventually, if they don’t have a likely accidental explanation.” 

Byakuya sighed, staring at the ceiling. Why did Kyoko hit the nail on the head so well? Was it really so obvious? Not obvious enough for Sho, apparently. The blood that was slowly flowing from one of the cuts on his leg had begun slipping off the side of his leg and pooling against the leg of his pants. If he didn’t move, it would stain the sheets and he’d have to change them again. He didn’t move. 

“Huh?” Sho blinked, confused. 

“Byakuya is very concerned with his reputation,” Kyoko shrugged, “I imagine it might be difficult to negotiate things with a partner his family would approve of if there were anything concerning to see upon him undressing. Don’t you think?” 

Sho giggled, “Well, I guess so. But it’s not like that’s really gonna be a concern.” 

“Why do you say that?”

“Well, I guess I don’t know for sure…” Sho bit her lip, thinking about it for a moment, “But I think family-approved partners for someone with that noble blood might be in short supply these days.” 

“Why is that?” Kyoko furrowed her brow slightly, watching Sho. She was prone to saying fairly nonsensical things, but not usually so calmly. Suspicions began gathering in the back of her mind.

“Well, the Tragedy probably killed lots of them, of course,” Sho giggled, “And the world’s all upside down and weird now anyway, so even if he does get with someone like that, they probably won’t care as much as they did before. But really, with all the chaos, Master might just be stuck with me and Miss Morose.” 

“The Tragedy?”

“Yeah, did you guys forget?” Sho looked between Byakuya and Kyoko, “I thought it was weird how everyone talked about wanting to get out of here and go back to normal when the apocalypse already happened, but I didn’t think you just actually didn’t know!” 

He knew when Sho was lying. He always knew when Sho was lying. She wasn’t lying. 

“What are you talking about? Tell me everything,” Byakuya had found his voice again.


	5. Remake The World

“Master!” Sho grinned, confused at what had made him okay enough to talk again but delighted nonetheless. “Well, I think Touko would know more, but if you don’t, maybe she doesn’t. I don’t really know exactly what happened, but I can tell you what I know!”

“Tell us,” Byakuya sat up and watched her, pressing his palm against his bleeding leg. 

“Okay, well, something happened. It’s like a huge, global disaster, but with people. All the governments and stuff got torn down and I don’t really know who’s in charge now. There’s not laws like there was. And, oh, lots of people have masks that look like Monokuma! They look really creepy! I think something bad happened in the school too, but I’m not sure. I only see what she doesn’t. But anyways, it’s kinda like a new world order, just, you know, there’s no order! Out there I could probably just go on a killing spree and it wouldn’t matter at all! But I’d also probably get raped walking down the street… I mean, if it wasn’t too exciting and I decided I wanted it instead anyway,” Sho cackled through the last bit of her explanation, fantasizing about what might happen. 

“Do you know what has happened to my family’s company?” Byakuya asked quietly after her laughter had faded into an uncomfortable silence. 

Kyoko sat, lost in thought, pondering what this might mean for their current situation and what they should do about it. There were so many variables to consider. How to get more information? What they could do to prove any information was reliable or not? If they should tell the others, and if so, how? She expected it would probably be best to tell them, but it may have to be done carefully? What would it mean about how they approached getting out of here? Should they take more time and try to prepare more fully? Could they even prepare trapped here in this twisted game? 

“Sorry, Master,” Sho shrugged, “I’m not sure. But nobody’s really that powerful anymore…” 

“I see,” Byakuya sighed heavily and lapsed into a long silence. The implications of this were too far reaching to puzzle out without some more sleep, but there was one bit of good news to be had there. The pressure was off. Certain things would need to be restructured, which meant that unfortunate circumstances could be gotten around, perhaps. 

He didn’t realize he was laughing until Sho asked him about it, “Master? What’s funny?” 

“The circumstances on which I hinged every plan I ever made, everything that gives my life purpose and value, every bit of effort I’ve ever put in, have changed and made, likely, the bulk of it meaningless,” he smiled. 

“Uh, no judgment, Master, but you sound as crazy as we are! That’s not something to laugh about, is it?” 

“Most of the time, it wouldn’t be. But it means, despite all of this, I could still come out on top,” he chuckled, “The same rules aren’t in place then, so I haven’t ruined everything. I’ll just need to start at the bottom and build my own system. One where this won’t matter.”

Sho frowned, kicking her feet uncertainly, “Where what won’t matter? Did I mess up?” 

“Well, yes, but that doesn’t matter now,” he waved a hand dismissively. 

She looked troubled, but ultimately took her tone from his, “Okay, what should I not do?” 

“Never think you know what I want regardless of what I’m telling you I want,” Byakuya was aggressively bored by this matter now, he had a lot of thinking to do about what type of person he was to be in absence of the standing model of being the expected heir. 

“Okay, can do!” Sho nodded emphatically. She felt some revulsion about hurting her master when that wasn’t what he wanted, but it seemed it wasn’t important at the moment. 

“While you’re re-evaluating your life,” Kyoko rejoined the conversation, “You may want to think about how to value emotions, your own and others. It might come up sooner than you think.” 

“What?” Byakuya blinked, turning to look at her. 

“You’re busy and distracted right now, which makes sense and is probably a good thing,” Kyoko explained, “But you’re still having a trauma response. That means that you’re probably going to keep having difficulty with things in ways you didn’t before, at least for a while. You might start crying or feeling upset again when you aren’t expecting it. If you try to take care of your emotions proactively, it probably won’t be as disruptive for you.” 

A cutting remark was on the tip of his tongue before he took a deep breath and reconsidered. It was true that he didn’t really understand what was going on with him, and she seemed to have insight. Consulting with experts was nothing to be ashamed of, it never really had been, and he decided it shouldn’t be. And he shouldn’t need to be ashamed of estimating a potential ally’s abilities incorrectly initially. It may be a valuable paradigm shift to assume everyone had at least marginal value. 

“I’m having a trauma response?” that was the most pressing bit to understand. He needed to know how to be able to consistently speak again. Communicating was important, especially if there was so much important information they could need to discuss. 

Kyoko nodded, “Yes, that’s why you’re going nonverbal, crying, and possibly dissociating, though I’m not totally positive if that last one is what’s happening.” 

“Dissociating? Like me and Gloomy?” Sho’s interest was piqued, as was Byakuya’s utter horror. 

“Not exactly,” Kyoko elaborated, “You have a dissociative identity. That means there’s more than one of you in the body. I don’t know about all of the specifics, but I think it’s probably a more severe form of the same issue, but maybe a little different. What I’m talking about for Byakuya is more just he doesn’t seem to be as present or in control of his body.” 

“What do I do?” Byakuya asked sharply, “That’s unacceptable.” 

“Well, you might want to reconsider that attitude. You might have better luck working with yourself if you accept that you’re having a hard time emotionally,” Kyoko advised, “It’s okay to be having a hard time, you know. It makes sense.” 

He sighed, nodding. He’d have to stop making split second decisions until he’d fully thought about everything he needed to. That was the point. 

“Generally people find it helpful to find someone they trust to talk about feelings, it may or may not be helpful to you. If, for whatever reason, you’d like my help, I’d be happy to help you.”

“Me too, Master!” Sho rushed to add, “I mean, I did it, so I’d get why you wouldn’t want to. But I love you! And she’d love to help you, of course! She’s always dreaming about wifey stuff like that.” 

Byakuya considered telling Sho that discussing details of a rape and subsequent difficult feelings was certainly not subsumed under the heading “wifey stuff,” but decided the misconception was probably allowable. 

“Thank you. It seems I have a lot to think about. In many different ways,” he tugged somewhat awkwardly at his sleeves, straightening his clothes. “I’ll let you know if I need anything of the sort.” 

“Why is there blood on your hand?” Sho asked, pointing to the slight stain on his palm. 

“Ah, I forgot about that. One of the cuts on my leg reopened earlier. I was applying pressure,” he explained, rolling his eyes. An abiding feeling he had was that having a body was simply exhausting. 

“Well, I’ll leave you to attend to that in privacy,” Kyoko stood up, “Please, if you need anything, either of you, come get me. I’ll be in my room. I’ll probably come check on you in a few hours, if that’s alright?” 

Byakuya nodded, “Thank you, Kyoko. For everything today.” 

“Of course. Also, I’m sure you know not to mention what Sho has told us to anyone else until we’ve thought about the best way to break the news. We don’t want anyone panicking and doing something rash, of course, and there’s not much of a hurry, really.” 

“Obviously,” Byakuya smiled, “Sho, tell no one else. Understood?” 

Sho nodded with a shrug. She was totally uninterested in talking to anyone else anyway. “Thanks, Kyoko. Sorry about bruising your face.”

“It’s not a problem,” Kyoko swept out of the room to go ponder their situation in her own bed. 

Once she’d left, Byakuya took off his pants to investigate the reopened cut. Sho looked with interest at his first aid work and the bit of blood oozing from under the bandage. 

“You’re so smart, Master,” she smiled, pointing to the catheter, “Great idea for how to fix that.”

“I don’t need you to praise my brilliance, frankly it calls into question the intelligent merit of any idea you refer to,” he chuckled, “Get the bandages out of the desk drawer.” 

She grinned, very pleased to hear her Master sounding more like himself, and retrieved the bandages. “Let me help, Master. I know what you want,” she giggled, “And this time I’m right. I’m good at bandaging things.” 

He sat back and allowed her to remove the soiled gauze. She applied steady pressure, then wiped the excess blood, and replaced the bandage with a clean, dry one. 

“You’re mine,” Byakuya heard himself say. Her talents would be more relevant in a world where heredity had lost its place as a status marker, though they’d definitely have to work on refining them. 

“Of course,” Sho missed the gravity of his words, finishing up attending to his wound. 

He’d fought his entire life to be worthy of his name, but a new fight was on the horizon, and it was multifaceted. He’d have to fight to give his name a place in the world and to organize the chaos into something profitable. But even “profitable” needed further defined now. Presumably there was an intact token economy somewhere, it’d be one of the first things to get re-established, and it was one of the last to fall, but if he were reassessing his values anyway, what would it mean? Were there still things he wanted to buy? Or would more creativity pay off in the long run?

“Forever. Both of you,” he continued, “You’re mine forever.” They’d never slip out of his control again, and to ensure that, he was going to begin doing research to improve all three of their mental health immediately. 

Sho thought for certain she must be dreaming, her Master would never say such wonderful, kind words to her, but if it was, she never wanted to wake up. She was so happy, she didn’t even know what to say, which was probably for the best, as far as Byakuya was concerned.


End file.
